Emotional expression is to release emotions and adjust the “water level”. However, because we must survive in society, of course, emotional expression must be based on the principle of not hurting others and not hurting oneself. Otherwise, the original negative emotions are released, but they are punished for not complying with social norms, which will produce a larger number of new negative emotions. The adjustment of emotional “water level” is not only It doesn’t help, and there may be any hinderance. Therefore, the standardised way of emotional expression is gradually learned by human beings in the process of socialisation.

Life without emotions is a kind of regret.

A child named Pengpeng was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at the age of 14. At the age of 17, he was told that he still had at most one year to live. After experiencing both physical and mental torture, he said to himself, “Anyway, he is about to die. What else is there to be happy or sad about? It doesn’t matter how life is, and the meaning of life is gone.” He lived in such a muddle-headed way. He had no interest or emotion in everything and phenomena. Life didn’t matter to him. Time passed day by day by day. His physical condition was getting worse and worse, and the rest of the days were getting less and less. His attitude towards his family is becoming more and more indifferent, and his sense of existence is getting weaker and weaker. One day, a volunteer came to visit him with another teenager who was also suffering from osteosarcoma. Seeing the young man’s smile and radiance, Peng Peng was very curious, so he asked him, “Why are you so happy?” I now feel that I may die tomorrow. I am particularly numb to everything. Nothing can make me happy, and it doesn’t matter to me.” The teenager replied, “I’m different. I think tomorrow may be the last day of my life, so cherish the present. If you can live a day, you will be happy, and if you can be happy, you will earn a day.”

Only then did Peng Peng suddenly realise that he was really wasting the little time left, so he couldn’t help but shed tears. He finally passed away regretfully. He said, “If I live a good life, I may not be as regretful and regretful as I am now.”

Just like Pengpeng, many people have been ravaged under all kinds of life pressures. They have no emotions and will not express their emotions. But in daily communication, the expression of emotions helps others understand and respond to our needs. It will not express emotions, which will bring great obstacles to our daily communication.

Emotion is an individual’s short and strong response to the relationship between their own needs and objective things. It is a subjective feeling, physiological response and cognitive interaction, and expresses some specific behaviours. It is a person’s attitude experience of whether objective things meet their needs. Psychologist Richard Lazarus believes: “Emotion is the organisation of physiological and psychological responses from good or bad information in the ongoing environment, which depends on short-term or continuous evaluation.” Emotional expression is a variety of ways that people use to express emotions. Its function is to relieve emotions and reduce the “water level” of emotions. Positive emotions are expressed as: when shaking hands with others, you should show enthusiasm, sincerity, credibility and self-confidence; when talking, you should be relaxed, do not hesitate, panic, and do not have mutual hostility and prevention. Negative emotions are expressed as: passive handshake at the first meeting, long distance when touching, not paying much attention to listening to the other party’s conversation, and doing something else absent-mindedly when the other person speaks; being suspicious of each other when speaking, preventing more than understanding and understanding. It is normal people’s behaviour to express rich emotions in the face of various things.

Someone once confided to a psychological counsellor: “My partner always asks me,what are you thinking? Can you tell me? Can you stop looking like you don’t care about anything? But I just can’t say it. Is there something wrong with me?” His confusion is not an example. Many people will not express even if they have emotions.

Many people think that emotions only need to be slowly digested by themselves. Even if there are strong negative emotions, they will only break their teeth and swallow them in their stomachs. There is no need to express or share. It is right to make others feel that they have no emotion. However, the opposite is true. For every normal person, expressing emotions is very important, and life without emotions is a kind of regret.

Only when we have emotions and know how to express emotions can we establish a real connection with others. People who can’t express emotions will feel that no one understands their true self in their hearts, but they don’t realise that it is their self-isolation that isolates the opportunity for others to approach. Learning to express emotions has many important meanings for our lives.

Get emotional connection

Nowadays, more and more people feel lonely. Loneliness is not due to lack of companionship, but to lack a satisfactory connection. One of the conditions for obtaining a satisfactory connection is to have an emotional intimacy. When you feel that the other person understands your emotions and recognises your emotions, you will feel that the other person is closer to you, so that you can get along with them actively. It is indeed risky to expose emotions to others, but if you want to get rid of loneliness and connect with others, people need to take a brave step to take emotional risks.

Relieve psychological stress

Speaking your inner emotions can relieve stress and make you feel more relaxed. When you try to cover up your emotions and treat it as a secret, you will be anxious that others will find out the secret, and keep an alert and repeatedly check whether you have revealed any clues. Especially when you want to cover up a negative emotion, continuous self-reflection will only make you pay more attention to your negative emotions and immerse yourself in negative emotions for a longer time.

Deepen self-understanding

Before expressing emotions deeply, people will have a process of self-examination and combing. In the process of expression, people will constantly ask themselves, “What is my current mood?” In the continuous follow-up, people may discover the richer connotation and level of their inner feelings, which can deepen their understanding of themselves. Moreover, when we try to explain our feelings in depth with long sentences, we will connect the emotions caused in the past with our emotions in the present, and examine the relationship between the past and the present.

The more fully you express your emotions, the more logical people will be in their analysis of themselves and things, so as to make calm and logical decisions without being driven by the feeling of confusion to make wrong decisions.

We should know the meaning of expressing emotions. Even in the face of a mediocre life, we should not lose our emotions. A life without emotions is a kind of regret. But this does not mean that we can express ourselves freely when we have emotions, and wrong expressions may also cause harm to ourselves and others. Mastering the correct way of emotional expression will make emotional expression smoother and life more comfortable.

The art of expressing and controlling emotions

Since emotional intelligence can influence life, and emotional expression affects our whole life, we should encourage ourselves to learn to express and find effective ways to express emotions correctly. We should learn to replace inappropriate emotions with another emotion. Choosing the right way to express your emotions has the ability to achieve your goals.

People who are born very good at expressing emotions often have a clear understanding of the scope of emotional expression, and they can show flexible reactions under different circumstances, so as to improve the efficiency of interpersonal communication and personal careers, and can form satisfactory coordinated results between behavioural performance, environment and self-concept.

Whether he is getting along with friends or dealing with people he doesn’t know, Zhao Fu often brags about his achievements. Although he does make others respect him more, the pride and complacency shown in his words and behaviours makes most of the people he interact with him very dissatisfied: no one likes to boast, hus I’m afraid this person is really excellent.

When Zhao Fu realised that his friends were getting fewer and fewer, and his colleagues who were willing to cooperate with him were gradually decreasing, he began to face his own problems. After examining his life, he found that he was not as successful as he claimed, and he also had to face such a fact. From the moment he woke up, he gradually became willing to accept his true self and sincerely praise his friends, which made him once again the popular member of the group of friends.

And Zhao Fu’s wife Lili is “good at expressing” her emotions. Whenever she feels dissatisfied, she will seize the opportunity to complain to her friends, family and even colleagues. However, the more she is like this, the less people pay attention to her or comfort her, and she even gets the title of “complaining woman”. Now, Lili has learned to keep silent more until she can make changes to the source of dissatisfaction, or have the courage to tell the main cause of dissatisfaction and ask people for help.

You may not agree with the expression changes they have made, because you have a better way, or you are a different person from them. Regardless of the real situation, these examples show that changing the wrong emotional expression will indeed improve our lives, and although the emotional expression mode has its inertia, it can be changed.

Suppose you are a mother, and you suddenly find that your son, who is just over 15 years old, has had unsafe sex. After understanding, you angrily accused him and scolded him: you are still too young to have sex, you will ruin your life, and you may ruin another person’s life because of your irresponsibility. But he was not interested in your preaching, and quickly ran out of the house after quarrelling with you.

In this case, although your concern about your child’s future is understandable, in this communication, you have not shown your influence on your son. Obviously, in this case, only by changing your own expression can the problem be solved.

Since most people are not good at improving emotional expression and controlling emotions, it is necessary to introduce some scientific methods: as long as you use the following guiding principles to choose new and more active emotional expression, then you may solve some problems like the above-mentioned cases.

Step one, make sure that you have indeed expressed your emotions in a dissatisfied way. Although you are angry, you should know that what you want to express is not just anger, but also the worry and concern you feel when your son may ruin your life with others.

Step two, find out what you want to accomplish through emotional expression. For example, do you want to maintain a sense of participation in something? Or do you just want to convey your worried feelings to others? Or pursue a more coordinated move? Regarding your son’s sexual behaviour, as a parent, you want to establish a more responsible and cautious concept of life through this matter.

Step three, come up with more than five ways to express emotions. You can use your past experience to make use of other people’s examples, and you can also create new possibilities. You can scold him loudly; buy some sex education books that he can read; arrange a friend and elders he has always admired to talk to him about this matter; let him participate in a social welfare organisation of adolescent sexual behaviour and pregnancy, so that he can understand the consequences of unsafe sexual behaviour.

Step four, think carefully about each emotional expression and behaviour you come up with, and decide which expression may be more useful. If one is useful and suitable, then go back to the previous step and think about other possibilities. If your son is always unwilling to assume the responsibility and results after sexual behaviour, it may be a better choice to ask a youth expert to communicate with him.

Step five, recall the clip again in the way you choose. This time, further examine your behaviour and check to make sure that this approach can really bring the results you want. Imagine your rational conversation with your son, or arrange for him to meet with a teenager expert. Both choices may make your son realise the seriousness of the problem.

Step 6, step into this clip, feel your emotions, and imagine as much as possible how to express it in this way. First of all, have a serious conversation with your son and enter the stage of “necessity understanding”. You will realise how to express your concern to your son more accurately in this case.

Step 7, imagine a scene in which you may feel this emotion in the future, and imagine what you want your son to do in such a scene. Your son will have a date with the girl tomorrow, and you hope he can treat this stage of sexual behaviour more cautiously and responsibly.

Step eight, imagine at least two situations, and repeat step seven. If necessary, you can make some adjustments to your behaviour. If you find that the new expression is not suitable for a certain kind of situation that may happen in the future, then start from the second step of the process in different situations and start again.